putin learns putin behind plot to assassinate putin
Bookmarked 706 weeks ago
a man thanks god he039s not sexually attracted to children the nation039s women aren039t as crazy about bryan gosling and the guy on the third floor with two computer screens on his desk is not fucking around it039s the week of august 13th 2012subscribe to the onion on youtube: http:bitlyxzrbualike the onion on facebook: http:wwwfbcomtheonionfollow the onion on twitter: http:wwwtwittercomtheonion

snowy conditions proving hazardous for nation039s idiots
Bookmarked 794 weeks ago
if you know an idiot please make sure they039re safe and not standing naked in a snow embankment on a dare onion news network is coming to ifc on january 21 at 10pm

has obama failed to reduce hostility toward obnoxious americans abroad
Bookmarked 803 weeks ago
in the know panelists discuss obama039s failure to repair americans039 bush-era reputation overseas as drunken belligerent assholes vomiting on ancient treasures

prison economy spirals as price of pack of cigarettes surpasses two hand jobs - youtube
Bookmarked 217 weeks ago
from the onion prison channel: prison analysts warn rising inflation could devalue everything from rim jobs to shivs

today now interviews the 5-year-old screenwriter of quotfast fivequot - youtube
Bookmarked 154 weeks ago
subscribe to the onion on youtube: http:bitlyxzrbuajim and tracy welcome chris morgan the kindergartener who wrote the latest action-packed quotfast and th

frustrated inner-city students running out of ideas to motivate teachers - youtube
Bookmarked 257 weeks ago
a frustrated group of students at dunne high school on chicago039s south side told reporters thursday that they are running out of ideas to motivate their unde

the onion reviews lsquoscream virsquo - youtube
Bookmarked 158 weeks ago
039scream vi039: a film that deftly depicts the plight of stabbing-class americanssubscribe to the onion on youtube: http:bitlyxzrbualike the onion on faceb

fcc okays nudity on tv if it039s alyson hannigan - youtube
Bookmarked 247 weeks ago
an fcc official clarifies new broadcasting regulations that clear the way for more nude scenes featuring the beautiful auburn-haired alyson hanniganmore co

multiple stab wounds may be harmful to monkeys - youtube
Bookmarked 234 weeks ago
repeatedly stabbing monkeys with sharpened objects may have an adverse effect on their health according to a new studyfor more breaking news: http:wwwth

report: every potential 2040 president already unelectable due to facebook
Bookmarked 725 weeks ago
a troubling report finds that by 2040 every presidential candidate will be unelectable to political office due to their embarrassing facebook postssubscribe to the onion on youtube: http:bitlyxzrbualike the onion on facebook: http:wwwfbcomtheonionfollow the onion on twitter: http:wwwtwittercomtheonion

aa destroying the social lives of thousands of once-fun americans
Bookmarked 802 weeks ago
in the know panelists discuss how alcoholics anonymous wreaks havoc on the friendships of americans by turning the 039life of the party039 into a sanctimonious bore

police: kidnapped moveonorg staffer039s quotplease helpquot emails went completely ignored
Bookmarked 731 weeks ago
police: kidnapped moveonorg staffer039s quotplease helpquot emails went completely ignoredsubscribe to the onion on youtube: http:bitlyxzrbualike the onion on facebook: http:wwwfbcomtheonionfollow the onion on twitter: http:wwwtwittercomtheonion

morbid curiosity leading many voters to support palin
Bookmarked 791 weeks ago
a recent poll shows 62 of americans say they don039t want to vote for palin but kinda have to just to see what would happen

man says 039fuck it039 eats lunch at 10:58 am - youtube
Bookmarked 265 weeks ago
subscribe to the onion on youtube: http:bitlyxzrbuareasoning that he039s a grown adult who can eat food whenever he damn well pleases local man kyle duned

the onion reviews 039licorice pizza039 - youtube
Bookmarked 225 weeks ago
a film whose vision is unfortunately marred by the unsettling choice to use a cgi recreation of actor bradley cooper after his untimely death in 2017subscri