Tag results for joke
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Results from all user's collections (937 out of ~937)
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how we say i love you on planet thedus
Bookmarked 770 weeks ago how we say i love you in outer space- spoken by the alien vid by jess barr song by vela vox free song download at wwwlittleblueskeletonrecordscomthis is part of a series of videos that show how we say i love you in different parts of great britain |
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bob039s notes: matthew 6
Bookmarked 690 weeks ago hello i039m bob smeerfak but not really this series is designed for theological seminary students with approaching exams who have not had time to read the bible and for popes tired of the same britney spears song coming up on shuffle on their ipodsmatthew chapter 6 let039s gojesus remembered he had a few more things to say while he had everybody there on the mountain so he tacked these on before he let them all get on with their lives he stressed the importance of not doing good deeds so people could see you because that039s so lame this contradicted what he said in chapter 5 about letting men see your good works but it was a long sermon and no one was taking notes that didn039t matter anyway because god was listening and he was going to bible it all latersame goes for prayer make it a private event because people can039t see god so why should they see you praying to him obvious exceptions to this are at mealtime in restaurants public schools and nationally televised sporting events he didn039t say that part but millions of modern day christians can039t be wrongalso don039t repeat mindless bullshit when you039re praying in fact god knows everything you need without you praying but do pray and do repeat stuff but make sure you repeat this: quotour father which art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil: for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory for ever amenquot got ithe laid it out for them: if you forgive other people cake if you don039t forgive other people no cake speaking of no cake he said when you starve yourself to get closer to god that039s not an excuse to go without showering he said don039t go in for bling down here because it039s going to run out sign up for heaven instead because heaven039s going to be a bottomless swag bagthen a whole bit about the eye and whether you let light into it or dark into it and whether the light you let in is light or dark and how light or how dark and all that it039s impossible to explain but it039s like when you039re reading mayan hieroglyphs and you can see it039s a bird thing eating a seed and the ancient linguist says it means the world is going to end in 2012 and you039re like okay whatever so let039s just move on but if it039s connected to what he said next about not being able to serve two masters that039s easy enough to understand and he should039ve just said thatnow regarding important matters of personal sustenance he said don039t give it a second thought food water clothes -- don039t worry about it look at birds -- they sit on their ass all day and god feeds them he likes you better than birds he may have left out the part about the sand grouse having to works its ass off eating up to 80000 seeds per day to survive and how it carries water trapped in its breast feathers back to its young because it was already a long-ass sermon and no doubt his disciples were telling him to wrap it up it039s getting dark outbut basically he said thinking isn039t going to make anything happen and you can039t make yourself taller by thinking you just need faith and protein well he didn039t say that but he knew it because he knows everything but if you are going to think think about god and god will hook you up with the restnext in this series we039ll move on to chapter 7 spoiler alert: we039re so not done with the sermon on the mount yetas always i039m not a religious figure but if you want me to save you or damn you to hell i039ll do my best |
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jub jub vs nate: football
Bookmarked 731 weeks ago jub jub battles nate in an epic battlefollow us on twitter athttp:twittercombeefstew202friend us on facebook athttp:wwwfacebookcomprofilephpid=100001522470040and thanks so much to our music team:hatch and booch you guys rule thanks |
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celebrity spotting
Bookmarked 701 weeks ago celebrity spotting in beverly hillsmain channel: http:wwwyoutubecomedbassmasterfacebook: https:wwwfacebookcomofficialedbassmastertwitter: https:twittercomedbassmaster--- |
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spider-man039s less impressive superpower
Bookmarked 697 weeks ago climbing walls isn039t so impressive petercheck out our video- superman prank public costume changehttp:wwwyoutubecomwatchv=oy2509gw8k4facebook us: http:facebookcomfatawesomehttp:fatawesomecomdescriptions: spiderman behind the scenes spiderman the seamstress spiderman039s sewing power spiderman makes his own costume spiderman pardoy spiderman spoof new spiderman parody the amazing sewing spiderman spiderman039s less popular superpower |
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spider-man andrew garfield on his suit
Bookmarked 711 weeks ago he039s the next young star to step into the skintight suit and andrew garfield was here to tell ellen exactly how uncomfortable and revealing it really is plus ellen had a special gift to help andrew go incognito in public check it out |
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welcome to the recovery
Bookmarked 746 weeks ago tell the democrats to get their heads out of the sand and fix the economy it039s time for a balanced budget http:wwwnrscorg |
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what commercials are really saying dennys 2 4 6 8 menu
Bookmarked 753 weeks ago denny039s is currently pushing their quot2 4 6 8 menuquot in which they emphasize that quotanyonequot can order off the menu came across this commercial from a denny039s in the south and thought it was amazing how they were breaking old boundaries while staying true to themselves with cute pet names for their customers written by: greg santosedited by: greg santos christian spicer |
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what commercials are really saying: atampt039s network
Bookmarked 733 weeks ago atampampt sure likes to advertise all the things you can do on your iphone on their network this add now shows what atampampt is really saying in their add |
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help me kony - nios incomodos
Bookmarked 707 weeks ago http:youtubevna9yyv4vge o http:youtube4eyqrrqyp40w2mshow 19 de mayo villahermosa de venta en teatro esperanza iris21 de mayo mrida venta en teatro armando manzanero22 de mayo cancn venta en teatro embarcadero de la zh |
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monty python039s flying circus s2e10
Bookmarked 701 weeks ago monty python s2e10: scott of the antarctic sorry for the slow upload been a busy couple of days please enjoy hit that like button if you can and subscribe if u want to keep up to date on future videos |
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battlefield 3 caspian trailer reaction
Bookmarked 743 weeks ago thumbs up for battlefield 3 tweet it http:clicktotweetcomdpu45cat039s reaction to the bf3 caspian multiplayer trailer featuring conquest gameplay and jetspreorder nowhttp:storeorigincomstoreeahtmlpbpagebattlefield3_us_letwitter follow: http:wwwtwittercommasgamingtwitch follow: http:wwwtwitchtvmasdeathfacebook fan: http:wwwfacebookcommasdeath===============================================more battlefield bad company 2 content by masdeath:honor a bfbc2 montagehttp:youtubeqrxea0rtj78day and night a bfbc2 montagehttp:youtubed2ijnf-aocosurreal a bfbc2 montagehttp:youtubedoupqxv8w8gflight a bfbc2 montagehttp:youtubeelzf3enegberecon rampage a bfbc2 montagehttp:youtubewgggwzgiomomasdeath039s legacy a bfbc2 montagehttp:youtubekp46wobcr3owelcome to vietnam a bfbc2 montagehttp:youtubebzdtrj-i6qu |